Friday, April 08, 2005

What would Jesus do (if he were the Buddha on a barf bag) ?

The interior of the plane shakes and stomachs tense as flight 142 makes its final descent but Martin Barnstone continues to talk his fellow passenger's ear off.

"The largest collection of airplane sickness bags is... in the thousands. Can you believe that ? Some guy's got all these barf bags in his home. That must trigger some kind of gag reflex. I mean seeing all those barf bags must make you want to throw up yourself. Imagine trying to have dinner at Mr Barf Bag's place. I wouldn't be able to digest my food properly. I don't think anyone would including Mr Barf Bag himself. He must have digestive problems. So in the end he does need those barf bags but he can't throw up in them because they make up a treasured collection. What a guy !! " Martin Barnstone stares at his new friend hoping that he'll understand the import of what's just come out of his mouth.

The plane continues to shake up bellies, bladders and breasts.

On the screen for all to see is the pilot's perspective. A camera at the nose of the plane shows that land is fast approaching. There is nothing to fear but fellow passengers and lost luggage. A bald-eagle suddenly explodes across the camera and the monitor switches to a green map of the plane's flight.

Martin Barnstone's new friend passes out from an overload of aerial death and talk of barf bags. Martin Barnstone screams.

Now sitting across from all this, what would you do ? What would Jesus do ? What would the Buddha do ? What would the new Pope do ? What would Oprah do ? What would a venture capitalist do ? What would a terrorist do ? What would a duck do ? What would a punch-line do ?

That's correct: they would all breathe through their nose.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jon Erik Johansen would like to do a drawing of a barf bag, screaming, and looking quite scared.
The face of 'Jesus' on it. He would also like to coat himself in bright, hard,
coloured plastic, but that seems impractical.

3:59 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home