CULTURE JAMMING IT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS(IMILATED SENSE OF SQUEAKY CLEAN CONSUMERISM)

"So he pukes up from the chemical fumes of the cleaner, smiles and then sprays said puke with cleaner and wipes it up lickety-split. The customers at the table are horrified, but our employee of the month is very proud that the cleaner did such a bang up job. Is that it basically ?" He shouts all this into the back part of the toilet ("lifting up the hood of the crapper" is what he calls it) and assumes that Julie can hear him in the living room.

"Yeah that's it," Julie bellows back with a touch of anger. It's eight o'clock on a Saturday night and they're at home watching "The Corporation" for the tenth time. Anders hasn't said anything about her birthday which will be over in four hours.

"Very solid idea. You're a shoe-in for the funding. It's horrifically funny with a pretty solid message. We'll email the proposal off tonight," he shouts back as he fidgets with the inside arm of the flusher. Their toilet has been acting up again. They are both straight A graduate students in communication but their toilet still acts up. Fortunately, Anders is good with his hands.

"Yeah well it's important isn't it. You have to remind people of important things, don't you !" Shouting all this out draws out the anger within her.

"Okay I'm almost done here," Anders smiles and drops rose petals into the back tank of the toilet so that when she flushes the pee-water will be replaced with the "fair trade flowers" that he picked up from an organic grocer. Tonight he will spring a surprise of flowers on her.

Or their toilet will get clogged.

Or at the very least the culture will get jammed.

Or maybe we'll just never stop wondering about the ways of this world.