Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Drinking and Driving and Filming the Greatest Remake ever made

Christ, what a day. Our first set-up took forever because of a stupid key-grip who doesn't know his right elbow from his left nut. If he slips up again so help me god, I will personally send him up shit creek without the proverbial paddle. Blood is thicker than water !! My ass.

So after we get some momentum to the day my A.D. tells me at lunch that she's concerned about the health of some of our actors. She says they're starting to look a little pale around the gills. She says this to me knowing full well the very first conversation that we had about this project. "Von Triers' the Five Obstacles is a blueprint for a whole new approach to film-making and for our part we will keep the actors drunk for every shooting day to make a movie unlike anything ever seen before." But screw principles right, she's concerned about the "health" of some piss-ant actors who wouldn't know principles if they fucked them up the ass. We're half way through a month's filming and she's worried about actor's "health". How about the "health" of this project ?! And then she tells me that we should maybe think about using stunt drivers to do the driving scenes, in which case there would be no point in doing a remake, I remind her. Sister-in-law or not if she keeps up with these cry-baby laments, I will can her.

People jokingly said that any consideration of my project would be "gone in 60 seconds" after I opened my mouth for any pitch session. I proved the assholes wrong. I got financing for an all drunk version of what once was originally a classic action film and then that fucking Nicholas Cage remake come along and f.u.c.k.ed it up. I will right wrongs with my version. I will show the inner sickness of the Hollywood system and America.

Good fucking night.


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