Friday, May 13, 2005

(“Qn’A 4 Tn’A” is a short little story that I would like to dedicate to my ancestors. They were hard working Mennonites from Russia who just believed in good old-fashioned hard work.

Just like good old Ludwig Wittgenstein, the famed 20th century philosopher, who tried again and again to get into the Soviet Union in order to do some good old-fashioned manual labor alongside the proletariat. Perhaps he was a fool in the details but I respect his dedication to the notion of finding life’s meaning through work. I’d like to dedicate this story to my ancestors and Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Oh and one more person I’d like to add to the dedication list for this story, a tale which has fewer words than this growing dedication list, is a good friend of mine who is trying to establish her own business while also working 14 hours a day in the film industry in Vancouver. She has a beautiful imagination and I hope that someday she’ll have the opportunity to express all of that uniqueness to the world.

In fact let’s add everyone working their ass off out of love or duty or necessity to the list of people this story is dedicated to.

Enjoy this dark little dose of humour...)

Qn’A 4 Tn’A

“Okay then so here’s my next question. If all of the sick, impoverished and non-SUV driving people of the world were to labour away at one of those wheels that Conan pushed around and around for most of his youth - but of course this wheel would be big enough to accommodate billions of people -, and the energy generated by that were used to inflate a blow-up doll that gave you a blow job, would you feel the slightest twinge of remorse ?” the reporter asks with a lot of nervous hand waving.

They sit across from one another in plush chairs. “Iron” Michael Stanley stares blankly at the reporter whose face sweats eagerness fueled by fear. Unbeknownst to Stanley the reporter is hoping to “pull off a Michael Moore.”

They continue to sit in tense silence.

Stanley comes out of his blank stare with a retreat to what he had just been talking about: “So maybe I’ll just recap the plans for Titty Sports Channel. We take the most famous moments from football, soccer, baseball, boxing, you name it we recreate those plays, those matches, those moments with hot young naked babes. Pretty simple really. Do you want to ask me how much this project is going to make ? That’s a question. I shouldn’t have to tell you how to do your job but that’s more of a question in keeping with the subject matter. I don’t see how Conan the Barbarian really ties into any of this. Unless you’re suggesting we recreate famous movies with nothing but naked women. Now that’s a plan.”

And so it is that another dream is born in the face of adversity.

So it is.


To us.


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