Oh and I'm also planning a six hour reading tour of Vancouver in November entitled READING RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE. I will go from locale to locale, reading to you as you sup on your soupy dinner at a restaurant, as you stare into my blue eyes, as you sit comfortably in your living-room or as you brush your teeth to get ready for bed. The idea is that I will read for fifteen minutes as I jump from an SRO in Gastown to a fancy loft in Yaletown to a highrise overlooking the city in the West End to who knows where. I will read and read and read. Email me if you would enjoy having your own personal reading in your home or business. There will be a camera in tow so that the rest of Canada can share in our adventure.
But for now enjoy this fast fiction...
HOW TO BOX YOUR FRIENDS
Michael P. Wordsworth kept track of all the moments that his friends bored him to tears with a) repeatedly told tales, b) inane observations or c) comments that just weren't up to snuff. Michael would write all of these wasted moments down on slips of paper that were placed in containers the size of Chinese food take-out boxes, which were then used in a "farewell party" for the ersatz friend.
"Can I open my eyes now ?" Sam asked from within a tower of boxes.
"You could but then the fun would be spoiled," Michael said, trying to decide if he had time to write down that repeatedly asked asinine request. But he had to watch Jeopardy which was on in ten minutes. After the last box was perched on the top
he quietly walked away.
"Can I open my eyes now ?" Sam asked the silence.
Michael P. Wordsworth would spend the remainder of the evening searching on-line for a new friend.