Whilst getting that tattoo chances are you'll need something to soothe the pain which is why I'd like to recommend the new Boards of Canada.
So sit back in that tattooist's chair, close your eyes, listen carefully as the burly assistant at the tattoo parlor reads to you the following and enjoy...
FALSEHOODS INSTILLED WITH LOVE INTO HIS CHILDREN
"Oh put that away, I'll get this."
Sam dips his hand into his jean jacket pocket and comes up with a cupped palm of change. Pennies, dimes and nickels are funneled by his hand into the bus ticket machine.
Stacey can't believe her eyes.
The bus-driver looks deeply into his rear-view mirror.
After a minute of the tintinnabulation of change, a transfer is popped out by the machine and Sam starts to work on paying for Stacey's fare.
"Oh let me get that," she says reaching for her wallet, wanting to speed things up.
"No, no. I insist."
Half way to the total, the change starts to jam the machine and the driver presses the sympathy button, allowing a transfer to pop out so that everyone can get on with their lives.
"I do all that for my children, you know," he says as they stagger to the back of the moving bus. He thinks she's cute and hopes to impress her; he brushed his teeth five times that morning.
"Oh how so ?" she is intrigued by the depths of his quirkiness. For her this is more of an abnormal psychology field trip than a date.
"Well some day I'm gonna have a kid and I'm gonna tell him or her that the bus runs on change. The change is smelted down in a fiery heating system within the bus and turned into kinetic energy."
She looks at him.
"It seems to me to be a more beautiful way of seeing things. I just want to get into the habit now."
"Why fire ?"
"Well, I want to stick with that theme. I'm also going to tell him or her that we come from an island of fire where there's nothing but marshmallow beneath the surface. I'll tell him or her that's where we came from and that our ancestors did nothing but mine the marshmallow and then crisp it up in the flames of the fire that surrounded our island."
She listens and is amazed at how this seems to fit in with the fact that Sam was adopted and has no real knowledge of his origins. He wants to create a mythology.
She is equally amazed at how fresh his breathe smells.
Someday she will become an award-winning psychologist. Her breakthrough research will focus on her husband who tells their children strange tales night after night.