Have I completely lost you ?
Well get with it man !! 1) Play a game of Pac-Man, 2) Listen to some Deerhoof (who are playing in Vancouver next Thursday !) and 3) wince with one eye shut at the incredibly weird work of Ken Kagami.
I ask very little of you.
Please do this !!
But before you run off to do all this sit back in your cushy living room sofa, read the following short-short story which has travelled from your computer through your mini-DVD projector and onto your wall and enjoy...
BANANA AND STRAWBERRY STAB
In the thick of the forest, Danny and Paul march over branches and twigs which snap like a chorus of fingers. Small patches of sky are suspended high above on the tops of Cedar, Hemlock and Douglas Fir trees. In between the above and the below are ghost-patches of chilly air which send shivers through the boys.
"It's just around that stump," Paul says, huffing and puffing.
"That's what you said four stumps ago !!" Danny whines. "I want to go back. I'm cold."
Paul shoots him a glare: "You can't go back until you've seen them. You can even have one. I don't need all those titty magazines. What am I gonna do with a hundred titty magazines ? If you want to stay warm you can put one down your pants."
The tiny cogs of Danny's ratiocination machine slowly spin around and around: "Okay."
And sure enough after several more minutes of hoofing it, they find something spectacular. Something unexpected.
"Wow. Holy Shit ! Ah wow !!" Danny's eyes grow wide to take in the sight of a Pac-Man arcade game in the middle of the forest. There is a three foot pile of quarters surrounding the base of the video game. Danny rushes in where his devilish friend fears to tread.
At the touch of the controls, Danny shakes and spits out in pain. His body slowly turns a silvery tone as his skin starts to flake off in quarter sized chunks until he is nothing but a final splash of change falling to the forest floor.
Paul watches the familiar transformation.
"Thank you. You have done well. You can play for a day but then you have to leave," comes a voice from somewhere in the forest. Paul walks ahead to use the quarters to play again and again and again with an endless supply of quarters to guarantee that he will never die.
A strange figure in the distance dances a mirrored choreography through the trees of one of the ghosts from the game, as Paul plays with abandon.
Someday Paul will die.