So get together with your beloved, put on every article of clothing that you own, take a piece off with every word you read and enjoy...
GOOSE PICKS A PECK APART
"I loved my goose. Nobody can take that away from me," Samuel Cronklin wheezes through his nasal cavities. "It was an ugly stupid pet who needed my love. How's that for an epitaph !!" he laughs and phlegm flies up from the depths of his sickly throat.
His pale hand remains held up in a shaking position at the painting of him with his goose. In the painting a fountain of blood squirt-squirts from his forehead. Andy shakes his head in bewildered awe.
"And if I were to move in with you, I would insist upon it being placed right here on this wall because the living room is the place the Bitch loved the most. She would have wanted it that way. Wherever I move, she moves. You can't deny those bonds, as miserable a hold as they may sometimes make on your strangled soul."
Andy shakes his head in disbelief. He is moving out in one month but Mark will be moving back in after he gets back from teaching English in Taiwan. Sight unseen. Mark has no idea how much Andy has grown to hate him; Mark figures his journals - which contain entry after entry of malice directed at the gullibility of Andy - were safely secured away in the basement but after a small flood everything was exposed.
"Great well when can you move in ?" Andy says shaking Samuel Cronklin's cold, moist hand.
Samuel looks at the painting on the wall and replies: "I think I already have. I think I already have."