Saturday, March 26, 2005

A Buddha with the arrogance of Brando

Pu-Yi Lee, famed sculptor for the emperor, stood in front of a silent slab of marble, balancing his weight from one foot to the other.

"That fucking Won-Kar. He's a lazy son of a bitch who doesn't deserve an eyelash of the praise that's heaped upon him. The Emperor will have my head over this."

Pu-Yi shifted his weight to his other foot.

"Ah that wonderful Won-Kar. He's a talented actor who deserves to be placed on a jade pedestal at the center of the court. The Emperor has rightly requested that I forever immortalize the figure of the Buddha in the dramatic lines and form of the Middle Kingdom's greatest man."

Pu-Yi moved his weight back.

"That fucking Won-Kar-"

But before he could complete another round of mental abuse, Won-Kar walked into Pu-Yi's studio.

"What does it take for a guy to get some decent fried dumplings in this neighbourhood ?" Won-Kar walked into the middle of the studio. Pu-Yi was shocked by how obese he was.

"Did you get a chance to read the tale of the the Buddhist Monk and the Monkey?" Pu-Yi inquired with as much politeness as he could muster.

"Okay down to business then if that is your pleasure. No I did not read this story of how Buddhism was delivered by a Monk and a Kangaroo from... Australia ?"

"Buddhism came to our kingdom from India and it is a glorious philosophy that will one day become central to our society. Or at least this is the will of our Emperor. If you had read the holy text you would have realized that the Buddha has denied the illusions of this world. The Buddha is not a man who has more Chins than a census in the Southern provinces."

"Yes I'm rather large but as I was so busy performing in the role of the gangster Yow-Mie in our eastern provinces, I hadn't the time to shed any of this excess. You'll have to love me as I am. Now let's hurry this up, I've a dinner appointment in a couple of hours."

And that is the story of why the Buddha is portrayed as an obese man.

Happy Easter.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geoff Keong has provided an illustration for the Buddha, the arrogance and the Brando. Behold. (Soon very soon.)

4:46 PM  

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