Just don't lend them money, whatever you do.
(Oh I'm totally joking. That's just my joky nature popping up again. Damn my joky nature as it's gotten me in hot water on more than one occasion, for example the time I was bungee-snorkeling with the Clayton brothers.. Oh Christ, I also just flat out lie a lot too. Just don't lend me money whatever you do ! )
MOTHER NATURE'S MILKY KINDNESS
"There they are paving that road again. Keeping that bitch Mother Nature down. Shutting her up with asphalt. She doesn't have a hope in hell !!" He stands on the edge of the small park yelling at the road crew. They labour under the noise of a truck pouring the hot asphalt and they shake their heads whenever they glance at their heckler. When he sees that they see him, he snaps his suspenders in a confrontational way.
"This park is so beautiful that the birdbath over there by the stump is filled with the tears of young boys who are touched by the beauty of nature. Tell me that happens with anything else. Just try to lie through your teeth and tell me that !! She heals hearts is what I'm saying."
He sits down on a remaining tree stump.
"Mother Nature is the only fucking medic you will ever need. My arm is all blistered and burnt because I've abused myself in drunken fits of anger over what is going on here but Mother Nature will heal me. I trust her. Birds are her emissaries and they will take care of me. I don't know why that stupid bitch still trusts us, but she does."
The next week the paving of the parking lot has been completed but Mother Nature's Great Defender is no longer anywhere to be seen. There is a gentle bump in the corner of the lot.
Boys continue to cry in the remaining birdbath as they remember the beauty of the park.