("CELL PHONE VIBRATIONS IN THE POCKET" is the title of today's little 9-1-1 of a story. If you want me to text message this very short story to you so that you can read it on your cell phone where it will be extra funny, please give me a call at 576-6869 and ask for Cell Phone Vibrations in the Pocket.
(It's not my real number and so I won't answer the phone but you'll be calling a complete stranger with a very strange request so good luck.)
Anyway enjoy the story..)
CELL PHONE VIBRATIONS IN THE POCKET
"Oh the guy can keep his cool. He could roll a joint in American flag rolling paper while being questioned at the border and he wouldn't flinch !!" The actor emotes praise for all one hundred and fifty-two people in the audience to hear.
"So you're saying he's stupid with confidence," the actress responds blankly with sexy curls dangling along her cheekbones. Apparently, her hair does most of the acting for her.
You turn to your date to exchange a rolling of the eyes. The less than inspiring performances are providing you with common ground to laugh all over. What else could you expect from a play called "Cool Hand Puke".
"Oh the guy can keep his cool." Again the emoting.
Suddenly a cell phone ring and accompanying vibration burst out in your pants.
You jerk to life to action, rummaging about in your pockets to find the culprit. Didn't you turn it off at the start of the play ? You smile sheepishly at your date. For some reason, you can't get to it.
It rings and vibrates again.
Your date scrunches up her face in a grimace.
You rummage deeper and then finally touch it. You freeze in fear realizing that this ringing/buzzing is coming from your penis.
You have no idea who's on the other end.
"Oh the guy can keep his cool," the actor repeats his line with real rage, staring directly at you.