So take a break from your hobby of picking the bristles out of old tooth brushes and enjoy...
THAT LITTLE GERM IS PEEING IN MY MOUTH AGAIN
"When I get a cold, I have this horrible feeling that there's this little germ in my body fucking with my immune system," Kelly explained to her third best friend, Alicia. They sat at the back of the bus skulking in their black hoodies.
"Yuck," Alicia said slowly through a grimace that masked her hitherto mildly attractive face.
"Yeah, it's totally sick, but sometimes, I swear, it's like this little bastard is just trying to mess with my head by fucking shit up inside of me."
"Weird," her friend replied, changing her unattractive grimace into an even more horribly misshapen face.
"Actually, there is a creature in your mouth," a man said with authority while lowering an outspread newspaper which he had been hiding behind for the past three months. In a flash, Kelly remembered that she had observed from time to time a figure behind a strangely outdated paper, but each time she had simply assigned the sightings to either her overactive imagination or an overabundance of drugs. But of course, the mosh pit at Lollapalooza !! She clearly recalled a man reading a newspaper in the mosh pit at the rock festival.
He sat down on the seat in front of them, but even from a seated position he towered over them.
"I'm part of a special research team that has been working on synthesizing highly intelligent germs which are for all intents and purposes sentient creatures," he explained carefully, pausing after every other polysyllabic word. "And I regret to say that one of those creatures escaped and we've tracked it to you. Chances are the mischievous little bugger is probably pissing in the back of your throat right now."
While Alicia's deformation of a face erupted into vomit, Kelly took the news far more gracefully: "I knew something was up."
And after Alicia got off at her stop, she never wanted to have anything to do with Kelly ever again even though Kelly owed her a hundred dollars for Lollapalooza concert tickets.
And Alicia went on to have an uneventful life, not knowing or wanting to know what happened to her erstwhile friend.