Monday, March 14, 2005

Is it Kosher to Ham it Up at a Bar Mitzva?

So I'd just been joking around with a couple friends when suddenly I turn around to find Samantha standing behind me with a half-empty drink in her hand. Her eyes were half-full of drunken distances measured out in questions like "How long will it take me to get to the bar ?" and "How far is it from my cranium to the floor ?" She stood with her head cocked at an extreme angle.

"Your friend is a cunt," she screamed at me.

Okay, I said, let's talk to her.

She lead me through gloms of people standing around with drinks in their hands looking bored.

We arrived at one of the darker corners of the club.

"You talk to her."

Samantha was so drunk that she mistook this stranger for someone I had introduced her to earlier. The stranger whose hair curled in beautiful little ringlets stared at me unimpressed and slapped me in the face.

To make a long story short, a year later I became Jewish and we got married.


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