The Eulogy for a Man who Choked to Death on a Steak Shaped like Florida

We are all here today, not to point fingers and level accusations about who is responsible for this or that oversight on the basis of safety regulations regarding a public event which involved eating large pieces of meat, but rather we are here to remember the unique life of one man.

I didn’t know Marty as well as others. In fact when I started organizing “Martin’s Steak and Grill’s Eat a Streak in the Shape of your Favorite State Day” just three months ago I had the opportunity of meeting him for the first time. He was one of the first to call me about the event. Well actually he had dialed the wrong number but I could hear potential in the man’s voice, like he was capable of accomplishing great things. I could hear his appetite over the phone. Within five minutes I had all his info down and he was the first on the list.

Florida was his favorite state.

In the weeks leading up to the big day, I got to know him a lot better. I called to confirm that he was coming and well goddamn it the man stayed true to his word. I called him to check his mailing address and he was very obliging with a “yes” here and a “no” there. I even called to tell him about a special that we were having at Martin’s Steak and Grill’s and the man was there… on the other end of the phone …listening… intently.

I don’t know why but Florida was his favorite state. This much I was certain of and what is it that defines us more than our likes and dislikes ? Are we not simply a collection of likes and dislikes in a big sack of steak eating flesh ? Yes that’s what we are.

I think we would be wise to sum Marty up with a couple words, "The man's favorite state was Florida."