An awesome little illustration by Warlessrabbit and an accompanying short-short story by yours truly can be found in Vancouver in the November issue of Ion Magazine.
But for now, put away all those tools and guitars that you're using to build a set of guitar stairs that lead up to your loft's love nest and enjoy the following short-short story...
LIKE A 1974 GUITAR SOLO
"They say there's a dead guitarist whose heart was fertilizer for this tree," he smiles romantically. A game show buzzer in his head goes off, alerting him to the mistaken content that just left his mouth.
"Oh gross," she replies, turning somewhat pale.
"I mean that's what they say, but what do they know right ?" His fingers nervously rub the engagement ring in his pocket. "They say all sorts of things, like..."
She stares at him blankly, not having any idea why he brought her up the hill to talk about a potentially illegal burial.
"They say things like... you can't drink pee !" He flashes her a smile in anticipation of laughter.
She turns paler.
"What I'm getting at really is that this is a special spot for a special occasion. This kind of tree for example usually sprouts a penis like root straight into the earth. That's special," he smiles once more, buoyed by knowledge of Mother Nature's hidden cock.
While Eddy riffs for several more minutes on the unique nature of the guitar tree, Valerie's face turns like a color wheel through all the shades of sick. Finally she passes out.
And after she's finally found peace in unconsciousness, he slips the engagement ring onto her finger.