("FRAME THAT FUCK" is a short-short story that's going to piss off a lot of porn lovers for the simple fact that there's nothing remotely pornographic about it.
I've noticed that whenever I insert certain words into my prose, I get hits on my site from people whose lusty little fingertips are searching for pornography. I could be pontificating about world peace but if I chose to call any world leader a PUSSY-cat, my site would come up in any search for pussy. Apparently, writing the "p" word creates electronic ripples that attract a certain kind of viewer.
Well there's a vagina in the following story but it's not used in any pornographic ways. So put your tissue paper away and enjoy the artistry, strangeness and humour in this following piece.
Also let it be noted that the accompanying illustration has been made by the lovely and talented Meridyth Townsend who has provided me with this drawing for a collection that I will be submitting to a Vancouver publisher this week for consideration for publication
Wish me luck... )
FRAME THAT FUCK
"No way. I don't want that thing in my living room !!" Karl's forehead furls up in ripples of rage.
"Well she framed it and everything," Stacy pleads while holding up her friend's sketch of a hairy chested woman who apparently is in the midst of a sex change. "It's all about change. We're starting on our new life together in this apartment. We're changing. This woman is changing."
Yes, Stacy is an English Lit major.
"We're not getting sex changes ?! I've moved my futon across town, I'm not getting my cock cut off. And what about that guy in the corner ? He's obviously not happy with this whole new life thing. " Karl is so angry he could smash his fists together like rocks and create sparks.
Yes, Karl has anger issues.
"Well we are changing profoundly into new people within a new exterior. This acurately depicts that. And there will also be difficult times through that change."
"No way. No fucking way !! It does not depict me. That vagina does not depict me."
Stacy lets out a huge sigh. It appears her case is lost.
"Well how about this beautfully framed photo of her vagina then ?" She reaches for a make-believe work of art.
And that's when they laugh out all the tension built up in their bodies.
And they fuck on the rug of their new place.