("WONKY TOWER OF DOCTOR SEUSS BABIES" is a short-short story that boldly goes where no obstetrician has gone before. Namely, the teetering tower of babies that would be produced if Dr Suess had delivered babes for a living.
My mind is on babies today as I just found out this morning that a short film which I co-conceived and acted in called "It's a Boy" will be screened at the
Gimli Film Festival.
Also, I just found out a couple minutes ago that my friends Jen and Jeff just had a healthy little baby boy. Cigars all around !!
Finally, I just decided a couple seconds ago to threaten to call you a baby if you can't make it through at least ten of my stories in one sitting.
WONKY TOWER OF DOCTOR SEUSS BABIES
Screaming curses fly out of her mouth along with globes of spit and heaves of ho. She is about to produce a bloody thing of beauty but her thoughts are scrambled after eight hours of labour.
Her name is Megan.
Doctor Seuss reaches for forceps which seem to be balanced precariously on top of a meandering totem pole of other more fanciful instruments. (In reality, the instruments are held in place by a bar that pierces through all of them.)
"Do breath, do breath. Oh I can help you breath with a forceptomoreath." He picks up the oddly named instrument from the top of the pile and waves it around.
Megan thought it would be funny to have her first child at Dr Seuss' Delivery Ward and Pitch and Putt.
She thought wrong.
A pile of plastic babies teeter up next to the good doctor. Hidden inside one of the babies is a camera that records the natal preceedings which will be edited together as part of the package that Megan has paid for.
A golf ball putters by outside the "birth shack".