SAUSAGES UP YOUR VORTEX
Lucy had pissed him off royally by not sliding a couple extra sausages onto his Trucker Times Two order at the greasy spoon by the number 12 Highway. To add insult to injury, she had joked that they were too slippery to five finger discount anyway. He wasn't asking her to steal. For the love of Christ, she worked there.
Perks are there for the picking, he mumbled to himself as he walked along the gravel road just off the number 12, replaying everything that happened in his meaty mind. The wind pushed him along in the direction of home.
To show Lucy how pissed off he was for gypping him on the sausages he slammed his ten dollar bill onto the tiny metal spike used for completed orders. The sawbuck lay lame right there in front of them. Good ol' Hamilton with a spike coming up out of his forehead. She just stood frozen behind her cash register. That showed her.
Perks are there for the picking, he mumbled to himself again. The wind picked up even more, blowing leaves and garbage every which way. Oh Jesus those extra sausages would've been so good, his stomach grumbled. Chunks of greasy goodness would've swirled down his cavernous throat.
A tornado funnel formed towards the east and sucked up his hat that he had won at an eatting competition three summers ago but he was too lost in thought to care. The incident continued to replay in his meaty mind, but this time cutlery and fellow diners were swirling around him and Lucy as he tried to coax her into sliding a few extras onto his order. The manager flew overhead and gave them a dirty look.
Perks are there for the picking, he grumbled to himself as his body was whipped from side to side.
The tornado touched down.
Perks are there for the picking, he screamed as the tornado unrooted him from the earth. His head was full of the story with all the elements spinning around and around. Sausages spun around him out of reach in the diner. Five finger discount, Lucy shouted as her body spun around him.
Minutes later, after his body slammed back down to earth, his spirit rose like smoke from a fire doused in sausage grease.
Perks are there for the picking, his spirit muttered as it departed.